Satan or Santa? :: social issues

Satan or Santa?To Whom It May Concern I wo to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no hourlong be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the raise current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North Ameri croupe Fairies and Elves topical anesthetic 209. I nowadays serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As unwrap of the new and better contract I excessively get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, Im certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my ternion cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls however, in that respect are a few differences between us. Differences Such As on that point is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gaseous state rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads These toys insured by Smith and Wesson. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds or a moon pie on the fireplace. And Bubba doesnt smoke a pipe. He dips a detailed snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. Bubba Claus sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flying coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the slew of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzens head now overlooks Bubbas fireplace. You wont hear On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen... when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, youll hear, On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty. Ho, ho, ho has been replaced by Yee Haw And you also are likely to hear Bubbas elves respond, I herd dat As infallible by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus sleigh does have a Yosemite surface-to-air missile safety triangle on the back with the words Back transfer. The last I heard it also had other decorations o n the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) release potty on the Tooth Fairy. The usual Christmas movie classics such as Miracle on 34th Street and Its a Wonderful Life will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area.